Yeah thats right – I danger garden – you probably haven’t heard of danger gardening before because I only invented it recently – it’ll be on urbandictionary in a year or so and then hipster mums will be doing it in about 2013 – but for now it’s only Grumblegarden. Danger gardening is gardening where ‘danger can happen’ and by danger I mean that hoodies or neighbours can steal your crops. Out front of my flat is a walkway that everyone has access to and by everyone I mean the shitbag neighbours, the drunks, the hoodies and every other ne’er do well and scallawag in East London. But that doesn’t phase me – I carry on regardless staring danger in the face and gardening – while evil lurks behind every corner I’m right out front planting a jasmine up an asymmetric trellis because thats how we roll in Shoreditch.
I had one of those giant victorian marble sinks in my front garden, being used as a planter and some (strong) thief (s) took it-it takes 2-3 grown men to pick those things up, so they’d obviously been organised. later that summer I got a bay tree for my birthday, and in a foolhardy attempt at facing down horticultural adversity I put it in another beautiful and giant plant pot in the aforementioned garden. This time I weighed the thing down with bricks and cemented it to the floor, thinking that my erstwhile foes would have a hard tie of things. next morning i stumbled home in the first rays of sunlight and found a trail of soil leading out of my abode-they couldn’t take the pot, so just took the bay tree instead. stay strong.